


perfect places

by atrophied (traintravks)



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Bisexual Simon Snow, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship goals, M/M, Misunderstandings, Party Fic, References to Drugs, Self-Indulgent, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, all the cameos, lots of profanity, lots of slagging off, probably very ooc but it is an au after all!, queer used as an overarching term for lgbtq+, slow burn somehow?, young and reckless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2020-05-12 01:25:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19218790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traintravks/pseuds/atrophied
Summary: this is a house party non-magical snowbaz au!!it all takes place over the span of one night :-)[posted 15/06/19. 00.54]





	1. i. have fun at your party - graace

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write a snowbaz party au bc i love parties and drinking culture amuses me greatly / i wanna be drunk and party with friends over the summer and i can't bc my town is small and boring, sooooo here goes, me trying to flex my fanfiction skills that are non existent now. please lmk if you like this and would like to see more! i would die for anyone who leaves me comments so please do :-)  
> ps. they are all of age and over 18 for the purpose of this fic! i do not condone underage drinking or bad drinking habits and am not trying glamorise alcohol in any way !!! finalllly, perfect places as the title because we love lorde in this household and this is the ultimate friday night song. chapter titles are also songs :-) 
> 
> enjoy xx

friday, 7.04pm. //

“fuck,” simon yelps as he drops the bag of ice on his left foot. the buzzer for his flat is ringing non stop.

“coming!!” he shouts out of the open window, hobbling on one foot and attempting to fit his arm into his jean jacket, his curly blonde hair is bouncing on his head as he runs down the stairs to open the door. 

penny and agatha are outside waving a bottle of absolut vodka about and he rolls his eyes, pushing the door open and standing outside in his socks to give them hugs. 

“welcome bitches,” simon says with a smile and penny pushes past him, and walks towards the 3 flights of stairs to his flat. 

“we’re so fucking late and i really need to pee” is all she dramatically deadpans before charging up them. 

agatha is more hesitant and picks up the grocery bags penny has conveniently forgotten about and left on the step outside. 

“hey,” she says. they broke up over 4 months ago but she still tiptoes around him sometimes, he doesn’t understand it but simon guesses that this is her way of coping with supposedly breaking his heart. he realised he never really loved her romantically a week after they split but never really had the heart to tell her. he takes one of the asda bags out of her hands and they walk up the stairs in silence, pennys forgotten to leave the door propped open. he searches in his pocket for the keys. 

“fuck, i’ve forgotten my keys inside” simon says exasperated and agatha cracks out a half smile.

"classic simon snow, this is what? the fourth time that this has happened with me being here" and she's laughing.  
he punches her shoulder lightly with his free hand, rolling his eyes again. "come onn, pennys too busy pissing herself to let us in, what are we going to do? wait, like plebeians?" and now its agathas turn to roll her eyes.

in lightning speed she pulls out a set of keys from her jacket. she’s wearing this pale pink corduroy skirt with ballet flats and a cream lace top, her hair as wavy as can be. her skirt matches her cheeks. 

“thanks,” simon says, taking the keys out of her hand and opening the door. she hangs up her jacket and takes off her purse. simon places the asda bag in the kitchen, taking off his own jacket, throwing it on the chair. 

she follows him into the kitchen and starts taking out glasses from the cupboard. they can now hear penny sorting out a playlist in the living room, skipping songs and singing loudly off key. he smiles at agatha graciously and starts emptying the asda bags, placing the copious amounts of alcohol and snacks for the party onto the counter, emptying food into bowls. they work in silence and it’s eerily domestic until they're done. then simon remembers to return the keys to her, placing the set in agatha's empty hand. she stares down at them for a second and there’s a pause. 

“uhm i’ve been meaning to give that back to you anyways” agatha says in an even tone.  
“oh, okay” and right then, simon remembers of fucking course yeah, they’re proper broken up. she senses his loss for words and smiles kindly. 

“yeah it’s not like i’d be needing them now anyways, no big deal!” he can see she’s really trying but agathas drawing a circle on the ground with her foot, dragging her toes. he can tell she’s uncomfortable and he doesn’t know how to fix any of it. fuck.  
“well you can keep them if you’d like! penny has a set, you never know!” he says enthusiastically and isn’t that a sore spot, simon knows he’s said the wrong thing. he can see the simmering pot of resentment in agatha's eyes. anytime the circumstances or anything relating to their previous relationship problems comes up she closes off.  
“does she? i had no idea” and now that’s definitely a sore spot. there’s a brief silence and then agatha slowly places the keys on the counter, they make a clanging noise. simon cringes. she takes a breath and her eyebrows furrow, he can see her thinking as she says “i think i’ll really not be needing them, you can give them to your next girlfriend of course, courtesy of me!” and she sends him a fake smile, gives him no time to reply, and grabs a bottle of rosé and a glass on her way out. he realises he never did end up telling her that he's bisexual, and that this future girlfriend could also be a boyfriend or just a partner and significant other. 

talk about awkward and no ones even shown up yet. simon takes a shot of tequila. this is gonna be a long night.


	2. ii. ride or die - the knocks ft. foster the people

friday 7.43pm

baz does not want to go to this dumb party. dev and niall are yanking at his legs whilst he’s lying on his back in his bed. he’s gripping the italian sheets so hard he knows he’s getting his still drying nail polish all over them. he needed an excuse to ignore his texts and raid mordelia’s room so painting his nails seemed like the most logical solution. the polish is black, just like what he likes to think the colour of his soul is. his soul is really more of a sunset scarlet colour but he hasn’t figured that out yet and we’ll give him his time. baz thinks he’s gonna need another coat. maybe some glitter to set the mood he isn’t in.

“fucking hell baz, get up” niall huffs, exasperated. he’s got four pints of beer in his system and this is when he’s at his most impatient. baz groans and dev is just observing them smiling. he’s also four drinks in and he’s annoyingly happy. “this is why we never let him drink rum” is what baz thinks before kicking his legs up in the air like the three year old having a tantrum he is. 

“don’t think we won’t leave without you,” niall says before pouncing on the bed, jabbing baz in the ribs with his bony elbows. 

“fucking hell niall, you imbecile, my poor organs” baz moans and niall rolls his eyes, taking some of his weight off of baz. 

“you deserve it, you prick” he drawls sarcastically. “my organs are the ones in pain having to sit here and babysit you and i even actually bothered tonight, you’re killing the mood.” nialls wearing black jeans, a jack wills shirt and he’s thrown his red plaid overshirt somewhere on the floor. his blondish brown hair is a moussed mop on his head. dev and baz exchange a milli second judgemental look and dev smiles and baz smirks, doesn’t reply to niall’s bold statement, just makes a weird noise, throwing his hands over his eyes. “i told you i don’t want to go to this god awful party, like whose gaff is it even at? we won’t know anyone there and their booze is probably horrible and cheap and the music they’re probably playing is cringeworthy and old like fucking despacito. i will actually die”

he knows he’s being overly dramatic and niall rolls his eyes again. they’ll get stuck at the back of his skull one day. “you elitist petulant piece of shit, just bring your own gross bottles of wine and get hammered, yeah? who cares what the music is like and who all are there? i like techno shit anyways, i know i’ll hate it but we’ll all be there and you’ll have a better time than laying here all on your own at home like the sorry idiot you are.” baz groans again, not removing his hands from his face. 

“he’s not wrong you prat,” dev states, his voice sounds all foggy and genuine, he’s lying, back to the floor, running the carpet through his fingertips. “get drunk, have fun, make some memories, secondary schools over now, god knows where we’ll all be in a couple months time, we’re never getting this moment back, we’re never getting our youth back, man.” 

there’s a silence and then baz snorts, he can feel wetness of the palms of his hands. why does his heart hurt a little all of a sudden. he removes his hands. sits up in bed. 

“fuck, okay, maybe you’re right but also you’re gonna make me puke” he says. dev and niall cheer loudly, however, nialls still in a tiff “wow look at you baz, all proactive, haven’t even drank a sip of alcohol and you’re ready to throw up” he retorts. dev laughs. 

baz throws both his middle fingers up, “fuck you guys.” he states loudly. he really does love his friends. 

they all laugh, in synchronicity. baz gets out of bed and dev smiles a lopsided smile. 

they work in silence. niall grabs his plaid shirt and his gross bag of beer. baz reaches under his bed, rolling out two bottles of wine placing them in the bag as niall holds it open. he wears his denim jacket and places a different black nail polish with flecks of glitter in it into his pocket, mordelia won’t miss it. dev finally stands up from the floor, kisses the carpet with his lips, all wobbly and jumps in place. they exit the room, the air alive. trailing down the stairs. niall calls a taxi, baz locks his front door. checks it twice. they stand outside, niall opens another can, time for his annoying happy talkative state too. baz uncorks a bottle of wine, takes multiple swigs. he needs to be much more drunk for this phase of niall. the summer sun is still out and the oxygen is fresh. the roses in bloom. they can see the taxi drive down baz’ road towards them. time is ticking and niall rushes in, destroying the intimate reckless mood as he always does,filling all the empty space as he always does. baz loves him, as he always does. the brother he never had. 

“on contemplation, fucking hell, who knew dev was a poet this whole time.” dev, still wobbly, he’s taken more rum in as well, stands up and takes an overly dramatic bow, waiting for the applause. it sets them off into laughter again.

the taxi pulls up, nico, their regular driver joins in on their laughter whilst yelling at them to hurry up. 

a moment suspended in time. 

baz doesn’t know what’s coming.


	3. iii. pink - no rome

friday, 8.27pm. // 

dev, niall and baz pile out of the car,bidding farewell to nico, he obnoxiously honks his horn at them and drives off. they can hear music blaring out of open windows three storeys up, there's a girl singing in the smoking area to the flower pots, pink haired, another girl holding her up, attempting to braid her hair. a group clustered around them, singing along. 

"what time was this party supposed to start," asks baz. he's out of the loop, three quarters of a bottle of wine making his body hum a little. he taps his fingers on his phone. he didn't expect there to be so many people about already. he's nervous. niall opens his phone, the bright light washing his face out. "the text i got says 8pm, flat 3, but they must have started early." 

the girl singing starts to puke, the other girl is consoling her, holding back her hair, people scatter, sitting on cars and on nearby doorsteps. there’s someone running around wildly recording everybody, trying to document. baz recognises a few people but doesn't know anybody well enough. a few waves here and there and they walk to the door, it's been propped open by a purple chair. baz presses the buzzer for flat three just to be polite and freezes once he sees the name. 

"snow, as in simon snow" baz chokes out and niall looks at him weird. "yeah, baz? i thought i told you already, the partys at simons house" niall replies and baz hates 6 drink niall so fucking much. "simon fucking snow" baz slowly repeats to himself. he's gonna faint, his heart beat speeding up rapidly, his tummy suddenly hurts. "yeah from secondary school? he was a lot of our free classes, always sat in the back with a huge group of people including us baz" niall explains as though baz is obtuse."yeah, penny and agatha and the rest" dev says,lifting his eyebrows and looking at baz as though he's grown another head. baz really really hates 6 drink niall and dev. he looks towards them both, trying to communicate his panic, and is about to tell them he's going back home, fuck this party when simon comes trundling down the stairs. his cheeks are red and his hairs a curly mess, he has a red pack of cigarettes in his hand and a bottle of beer. he brightens as soon as he sees them, waving. baz waves back and takes a giant swig of the bottle of wine. god help him. 

"dev, niall, baz!!" simon yells, running over to greet them. he gives niall and dev both hugs, hugging baz too, lingering a little. baz starts drinking again. his heart is a buzz. dev and niall were a lot closer to simon than he ever was. simons smile and gaze are on baz before he turns to their whole group. "how are you lads?" simon says, he's so cheery and his voice is as smooth as honey. baz is melting already. "good, good, not too bad" niall replies,grinning from ear to ear. "happy to be here mate and celebrate with you" says dev as genuine as can be and baz wants to disappear. "yeah same here" says baz weakly and simon laughs, still staring at baz. " well thank you guys for showing up! the flats just up the stairs, doors propped open there too." dev and niall give baz a pointed look, he knew even in their inebriated state they wouldn't have forgotten his huge unrequited crush on simon and he squints his eyes at them. he really hates his friends sometimes. simon notices their exchange and laughs again. "you guys are so cute" he says but he's just looking at baz, again, he then seems to realise what he's been doing for the past 2 minutes and starts to blush making baz blush too. dev and niall exchange a look and baz can tell they set it up to be this way, they salute and charge up the stairs. "we're gonna head up to say hello to everyone, feel free to join whenever" dev says and winks in baz' direction. he hates them, he really does. 

there's a pause as the entry way clears and simon twiddles with his pack of cigarettes. 

"would you like to go up or get some fresh air? i really don’t mind either" he says, the “as long as i get to spend time with you” goes unsaid and baz smiles and says “fresh air sounds good.” he's just entered the building but he needs all the fresh air he can get when around simon snow. simon snow is everything baz has ever wanted or needed, and he always feels like he's just about to crash into him spectacularly. they go out the door and instead of going to the smoking area, simon leads baz down the side of his building. he sits down on the grass, leaning against the wall, spreading his long legs out in front of him. baz sits with his legs spread out too beside him, they're so close. baz feels electrified. there's quiet. he can feel the vibrations of simons chest. they share baz’s wine. 

"you know i had no idea this was at yours right?" baz says and simon smiles, taking another swig of wine, rubbing droplets off his mouth. "yeah, really? i couldn’t tell from your face or reaction." baz smiles, realises simons actually been paying attention. there’s a pause and simon glimpses at baz’ face, still twiddling with the cigarette box. “wait that sounds creepy” simon backtracks and they both laugh. 

"i would've brought you a house warming gift, or something at least, it's my first time here, i don't want to be impolite" and simons smile widens again. "you don't have to do that, just you being here is enough. more than enough" simon sighs out and baz can feel him lean his weight slightly more into baz' shoulder.

"you know, i don't even smoke i just heard the buzzer ring and saw the quickest glimpse of nialls face on the screen up in my apartment and i don't know maybe i'm too drunk but i knew i had to just come running down because you'd be here" simon says and baz can feel butterflies in his stomach. "oh" baz replies and they share a look, then baz moves slightly away from him to turn and look at simons whole body, for a moment he thinks something will happen. the artificial sodium orange lights are creating shadows on simon's face, his expression so honest and true, vulnerability from the alcohol maybe or just the atmosphere he constantly exudes. simon opens his mouth to speak and baz is finally at peace. maybe his crush isn't as unrequited as he thought, maybe it'll work out after all. but then the pink haired girl comes over to the side of the building and proceeds to puke all over simons shirt and the grass beside them, not noticing them in the dark and shadows and troddles off. simon is disgusted but amused and baz is doubled over, laughing so hard. it smells rancid. 

"at least your house warming gift wasn't puking all over me" says simon standing up and reaching his hand out for baz to hold on to. baz holds onto it to stand up and shakes his head, grinning. "no simon, mine is helping you clean up and getting you ridiculously drunk to forget about how dire this situation is" and baz can see simon smile with his whole face and his teeth and his whole body. "okay baz, show me what you got" he says, like a bet. they unclasp hands and baz gets a tingling feeling in his belly. they walk bumping shoulders up the steps to simon’s apartment door and go into bathroom. simon starts to strip and baz sits on the toilet, lid down, uncorks the other bottle of wine again and attempts to stare at anything but simon. 

"are you not going to help me?" simon says, he's still drunk but he knows what he’s doing and baz looks up, all he's wearing is his jeans, his defined torso and collarbones all there to see. his freckles form constellations and galaxies. baz wants to weep. he wants to worship simons body.

this is going to be a long night, indeed.


	4. iv. hallways - hunny

friday, 8.42pm. //

there’s muffled music and noise in the background, simons dunked his torso in water, sang a song to make baz laugh as he washes up, rub a dub dub. simons all crowded up in baz’ space, casually playing with baz’ hair, twirling bits and smoothing the back down. baz’ heart is in his mouth. he’s using baby wipes and a bi flag printed towel from the cupboard to dry simon off. 

“hey, there you go” baz says and simon hums, keeps running his fingers through baz’s hair.  
“you have really nice hair you know?” simon says and baz blushes. simon is still shirtless. “thanks snow” he replies and simon looks at him, he’s constantly been looking at him, looking right into his heart.

“you called me simon before.”  
“did i?” baz retorts. “must’ve been my mistake” he says, he pokes simons chest where a mole rests. simon squirms. baz is getting more comfortable now,loose limbed, more cocky and confident. more like himself. he stands up, they’ve emptied the other bottle of wine as well. it’s lying on its side on the counter top. drip,drip. they’re so close, breathing the same air, baz places his hands on simons shoulders, clasps his hands around his neck. simon takes a step back, places his hands on baz’ hips. make out stance. simon steps forward again, their whole bodies touching, he whispers “call me simon again” into baz’ ear and baz shivers. he wets his lips with his tongue, simons eyes zone into that movement, baz can pinpoint the exact moment simons pupils dilate. he bites his bottom lip. it’s fucking infuriatingly hot. 

it’s happening, it’s happening. it’s finally happening. they move in.

and then there’s a savage rapping at the door. someone yelling “please!!!! for the love of god, stop having sex in there. people need to pee.” it’s pennys voice and simon suddenly remembers his friends and him being the host of this party. he sighs, rests his head against baz’ shoulder, feels the chuckling vibration of baz’ chest and after a minute they break apart, another moment lost again. simons life is a fucking tragedy, he can feel the universe laughing at him. 

“you should probably put a shirt on now snow” baz says and simon smiles, rolling his eyes. “it’s fine, don’t objectify me, i’m more than a hunk of meat” he says teasingly, running his fingers through baz’s hair again. the towels on the floor, the wine bottle is spinning for some reason. particles frozen in the air. simon looks in the mirror at both of them. he kisses his fingertips and throws them in the air, “perfect!” he exclaims and the rapping on the door starts again stubbornly. baz opens the door, their slice of solace, cocoon collapsed. penny smiles, giving him a hug in the doorway. “why hello basilton, first time i’ve seen you tonight and look at you, you look like you’ve just been absolutely ravished” penny smirks. baz rolls his eyes, if only. “well hello to you too penelope, you on the other hand just look great, did you do something new with your hair?” he replies sarcastically. she squints her eyes at him, sussing him out “sweetie you would know if i’ve done something to my hair, nice distraction method but i’m still going to need details, however, right now i really really need to pee” and she tries to push past him. right at that moment, simon decides to walk out, still without a shirt on. 

“oh, wow” penny says, stopping in her tracks, smirking even more. “wasted no time there at all, did you salisbury?” and simon blushes bright red, baz can see it travel down his chest. 

“pennnny” simon drags out. “you’re very lucky i’m the only one sober enough to notice your state in this hallway” penny says with a straight face and simons blush intensifies further somehow. baz knows a cry for help when he sees one, he intervenes. “hey now pen, i wouldn’t call you sober in this minute in time, that’s a bit forgiving” and penny gets distracted, starts telling baz off about how she is no lightweight and is fact very sober, test her, try her, and simon sends baz a grateful look, sneaking off to go find himself a shirt. he presses a kiss on the side of baz’ neck as he drifts away and that’s when penny decides to tune in to reality again. baz is a mushy mess, smiling wide. “wait, did he just escape i-” and baz has no time for her shit, cutting her off. “you needed to pee, right, penny?” and her expression immediately changes. “fuck, yeah i did, thank you for the reminder basilton, love you sweetie” and she slams the bathroom door in baz’ face. 

baz wanders off in search of dev and niall.


	5. v. good life - raphaella

friday, 9.08pm. // 

the living room is chaos, peoples bodies and drinks strewn everywhere, too many personalities squish squashed in one room. a proper secondary school party, the type baz has not attended in a while. this year he’s preferred sitting in his bedroom under the silky duvet covers with dev and niall, drinking wine and making fun of straight people movies. 

this party is absolute pandemonium and sensory overload in the best way but simultaneously feels intimate to baz. he can pick out each individual face from the crowd and recognise them. he knows most of their names, he’s grown up with these people, seen and spoken to them almost everyday, they share the same experiences in a multitude of ways but they’re jumping up and down and dancing crazily right now. they’ve morphed into different versions of themselves since exams have ended, or maybe from just being in this atmosphere, this space. maybe they’ve always been like this. baz underestimated this experience, he misses the solace of simons touch and that damn bathroom a little too much. 

he makes his way through people, peering over their heads trying to catch sight of familiarity, of dev and niall. he needs to make sure they haven’t passed out somewhere or embarrassed themselves somehow, he needs to catch that on video, this could be their last party together, a sense of urgency overtakes him. he’s on a mission, slipping through the empty spaces, he’s actually quite good at this. he sees niall, speaking to that pink haired girl of all people whilst her friend who must be more than a friend, is vying for her attention, aggressively playing with her hair and kissing the back of her neck. it looks like she might even be giving her hickeys. baz really hopes niall doesn’t have a crush on the pink haired girl who very obviously has a partner and a good one at that. he’d never attempt to be intimate with his significant other after knowing they’ve vomited twice in the past hour, he’d probably just bring them home, get sick of taking care of them. or maybe for simon he would, give up all the good times just to see simon have a nice night? what is this train of thought, he snaps himself out of it, pushing through people, they’re too drunk to notice anyways. a guy even tries to hug him as he walks by. he awkwardly pats their back, realises he’s the one who was recording everything outside. “how are you feeling tonight?” the boy slurs, shoving the camera in baz’ face. baz suddenly recognises who this boy is, it’s micah, they had economics together and penny really likes him. “i’m good micah, how are you?” he says, trying to get out of micah's hug and for some reason micah bursts into tears. “you remembered my name? baz, baz? that is you, right?” baz nods, micah continues,”baz,i just need to tell you i’m going to miss you so much, really, truly you’ve made my secondary school experience so good” and he babbles on, baz can only recall ever speaking to micah three times, in the name of being civil with pennys crush. this is mortifying for both of them, mainly micah,and he can see the red blinking light of the camera recording it all. he really hope this isn't being live streamed anywhere. he can also see dumbass dev doubled over in laughter across the room. agatha and him have opened the balcony doors, sitting on the floor, smoking cigarettes outside while staring at the party in full swing, weighing in on the chaos. 

why is everyone he went to secondary school with so fucking peculiar and annoying? except simon, simon’s always been intriguing and charming and utterly adorable. 

everyone else? garbage kids with strange and annoying tendencies that crop up in the most utterly asinine ways. baz tamps down his dramatic nature picturing simons face and his skin and the sparkles in his eyes. it calms him in a weird way to think of their hands clasped, swaying in synchronicity. of the moments they’ve had, so far, few, in between. 

“micah mate, i think you may need a glass of water to sober up a little? would you like me to get you one?” and apparently that’s all it takes to snap micah out of it. politeness, this fucking american. micah, like an actual zombie, lets go of baz, tightens his grip on his camera, finally turning the recording feature off. “no i got it, thank you so much baz, mate? wow, i love the uk, i’m going to make documentaries about here someday” he says and he traipses off smoothly entering the kitchen. baz is confused, he shakes his head. he should probably tell penny the boy she likes is a lightweight just like her. 

finally, baz reaches niall, and sits in his lap, burrowing his head in his shoulder, seeking comfort, he starts to pull at nialls hair. there’s no space on the couch for him to sit anyways. 

“ouch,” niall replies, poking him but doesn’t do anything to push him off. he can recognise baz' moods like the back of his hand. “this is my best mate baz” niall says, gesturing to him and baz smiles, looks up at the girls across from them and the pink haired ones smiling back at him as though this is completely normal behaviour. 

she sticks out her hand. “hi, i’m trixie” she says confidently and the other girl waves from behind her. “that’s my girlfriend, keris.” baz shakes trixie’s hand and waves back at keris, they exchange soft smiles. she recognises him. he knew she would. 

“you know you puked on the host and the person i like tonight right?” baz says and he has no idea what possessed him to actually speak those words into existence but now nialls even paying proper attention to him. he pinches baz as though he’s just remembered baz is sitting on his lap. “what do you mean she puked on the person you like and the host, how would you know?” niall asks. 

“yeah, pardon?” trixie asks, “the only person i’ve accidentally puked on is keris tonight and hate to break it to you hun but she can’t be the person you like, she’s taken.” trixie snuggles back into keris, linking their hands. baz rolls his eyes. “i’m gay and you puked on simon snow earlier, when you were out of it. i had to help clean him up.” trixie furrows her eyebrows. “where?” “down the side of the apartment building where the grass is? we were both sitting there?” baz replies and trixie raises her eyebrows, a look of shock suddenly on her face. “oh fuck i puked on the host and probably you, i don’t even remember it, shit!” she exclaims out. and for some reason the way she says it is so funny, or maybe it’s just the alcohol in the air and they’re all laughing together. 

“wait trix only threw up twice so this means you like simon, right?” keris chimes in and isn’t she a dark horse. 

baz can feel a buzzing in his chest. “maybe?” he squeaks out and niall all but squeals in his ear.  
“fucking finally!!!” he yells and that’s loud enough that now suddenly dev’s paying attention from across the room, he stomps his cigarette out, leaves agatha behind and scrambles towards them. baz regrets sitting on niall because now he can’t get out of his excited involuntary death grip. “what’s with all the human touch today?” baz thinks and as soon as he thinks that dev launches himself into the sofa, tumbling, squishing in. 

“hello ladies” he smiles, waving in their direction before redirecting his undivided attention on baz. baz squirms, trying to wriggling out of nialls grip. “what’s going on?” dev all but demands, and baz should have never trusted strangers because before niall even gets the chance, trixie pipes back “your mate baz has a big fat crush on simon.” 

dev grabs baz out of nialls arms, lifting him up spinning him around, absolutely ecstatic. niall stands up too and there’s really not enough space for this. baz huffs and is placed back on the ground, dizzy. he glares at trixie and keris “what happened to our lgbtq alliance” he says petulantly and trixie sticks her tongue out at him. “sorry babe! maybe the heteros can be helpful sometimes.” baz pouts. “go get him!!” keris exclaims and then trixie turns around and kisses keris straight on the mouth,finally giving her the attention she deserves. holding hands they stand up and wander off to go dance, waving goodbye. then dev sits down on the couch and so does niall, baz can tell they want details. this is the first time he’s ever admitted to having a crush on simon, even though it’s been a known thing for years.

there’s a distant yell of “follow me on instagram!!” it’s trixie and she chucks a piece of scrumpled up paper in their direction. it lands miles away.

baz shakes his head and sits down with dev and niall. he hates loving them so much, he’s smiling far too wide.

what sort of crackhead party is this? he thinks, yet he’s really glad to be here. 

somehow he slots right in, in a strange important way.  
emphasis on the strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4khxhNYcQXol2RJzUU0cwK?si=cEoEqUOIQEibhZicZmU9uA
> 
> here's the playlist! :-)


	6. vi. clarity - kim petras

friday, 9.16pm // 

 

"so spill," niall says, dragging baz down so he's sitting on the couch, half in his and devs lap. baz is turned around so he can face them, awfully comfortable in an uncomfortable position. baz bites his lip and dev nudges him. 

"goooo" he drags out, bouncing his knee and therefore wobbling baz. he takes a breath. he's drunker than he seems, the environment egging him on. "basically as you guys have known forever and strangers have told you," a pause "drum roll please." niall and dev give him deadpan looks and he stifles a laugh. "i fancy simon snow, there i said it okay, it is a thing." and now baz is blushing. 

"of course it's a bloody thing" dev yells out and niall, sweet sensitive stupid niall punches his shoulder and dev yelps out. "let him go his own bloody pace, not all of us are as obvious as you with agatha” niall retorts. "agatha?" dev says confused "what do you mean?” niall gives him a pointed look and baz shrugs his shoulders.  
“she has a bloody girlfriend guys” dev protests, nialls still not convinced. “literally her names minty, they met horse riding and in her words apparently it was a sapphic daydream" and now it's niall and baz' turn to be confused. "what!?" niall lets out and runs his fingers through his hair. "how have I missed out on so much prime gossip" he exclaims, genuinely baffled and dev ploughs on "that's all she talks about lads, how could you have missed it? mintys hair and mintys eyes and mintys smile, that's why she took me out to the balcony, we were doing weed and talking about the party but she also told me to tell everyone so simon could hear about it and it would save her the awkward conversation." baz laughs "okay then aggie," his fellow queers are a piece of work, himself included. 

nialls eyebrows remain furrowed "wait but simon was telling me how she's so heteronormative when she speaks to him and lowkey homophobic at times, it makes him uncomfortable and wary about coming out to her? she’s probably not straight so she shouldn’t act like that, make that make sense" and now it’s baz turn to speak "well not all queer people are as accepting or knowledgeable as their experience would suggest, besides maybe she just phrased things wrongly and sent off the wrong signs with the intention of being supportive" and dev and niall gape at him, ignoring all he's just said to retort "okay valid," and "how are you so sober right now, you need more alcohol" they drag him to the kitchen, pour and down some vodka shots and sit in silence with the hum of life in the background, the three of them together, observing the party and each other. agathas still sitting outside getting high, on the phone inviting someone to the party, probably her girlfriend and penny's found micah, is trying to woo him by talking to his camera. meanwhile trixie and keris are leading a group version of the hoe down throwdown. 

"you know you guys still didn't get the lowdown on simon" baz says but he really doesn't feel like sharing. these are his and simons precious moments to keep, still too raw right now. they seem to sense this and niall smiles whilst dev ruffles baz' hair. "we already know you loony, we can tell from your eyes and the expression on your face, we just like teasing you." 

baz smiles wider than ever before. his friends are a god send. 

"also to be transparent i had a hand in this happening, before school ended i cornered simon and told him to finally get off his ass and make an honest man out of you before summer ends, otherwise i'd do it myself" niall says smugly and baz laughs and then they all laugh, start talking shit about something else.

and then as if on queue the dazzling simon snow waltzes into the kitchen, one hand running through his hair with a glass in the other. he’s wearing a new t-shirt, it has two sets of cherries on it. he walks over and bumps his shoulder against baz’ whilst placing the glass in the sink. he turns around leaning his side into baz'. 

"are we all having a good time?” he asks, facing dev and niall and all baz can think is now that you're here again, yes, yes, yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thnx for the kudos on this v. long romantic shitpost <3


	7. vii. feelings - lauv

friday 9.25pm / 

they talk about dumb things for a little while- observations about the party, how long simons been in this flat,his family, plans for the summer. simons focusing on himself and working in a local bakery, dev and niall have got fancy internships starting in a month's time and baz is just floating, coasting, teaching music lessons on the side and volunteering when he has the time. simon keeps leaning into baz’ side, has a hand of his in baz’ jeans. dev and niall can’t control their beaming faces and as soon as there’s a seconds lull in the conversation they scram and simon closes the kitchen door. 

baz sits up on the counter space, moving empty bottles to the side and simon joins him, resting his head on baz’ shoulder, they hold hands, avoiding eye contact now that they’re finally alone. the air feels tense, alcohol wearing off. 

“you know i really missed you” baz says and simon holds his breath, they’ve never addressed this it’s unexpected. 

“we got really close in the middle and then you disappeared. i felt shit keeping it from dev and niall and then we went from talking every day to just me seeing you in the halls a couples time a week knowing that you had some sort of an inclination about how i felt but had said nothing, it was confusing and made me feel like i’d done something wrong” baz feels stupidly brave, runs his thumb across simons knuckle carefully as if he’s not sure he’s allowed.

simon removes his hand, runs his fingers through his hair. looking into baz’ eyes. 

“i know it may seem like i’ve got it all figured out” simon says and immediately rolls his eyes when baz laughs. “but once i figured out the way i like you everything changed for me.” he looks down, a shy smile on his face. “it was deeper than what i’ve had with anyone else or what i felt about anyone else and with exam season and a bunch of other things i didn’t know what to do so i kept avoiding you, like just look at me tonight, absolutely throwing myself at you, hanging off you after us not speaking, it’s embarrassing. genuinely when penny made that comment about how it didn’t take me long to get at you i wanted to sink into the floor” simon says and baz is silent, still, waiting. simon looks up again and stares at baz directly. “every time i look at you or think about you or hear that you’re around it wakes something up in me that i never knew was there and it scares me how much i like you, i think” and simon takes a breath “i think you might be it for me in a way that i wasn’t aware of before and i know that it’s early to say but being around you has given me so much clarity my heart actually hurts.” and simon laughs sadly. 

baz’ heart is racing, “it’s a nice sort of pain” he says with understanding eyes and leans in touching his forehead against simons. simon shivers, rubs his nose against baz’ and finally lets out a smile. they hold hands again. “you’re not allowed to leave me in the dark for that long ever again snow” baz whispers and simon agrees, their lips finally meet. chaste at first, soft and sweet then simon is hiking up baz’ shirt again placing his hands on baz’ hot skin, baz has his hands in simons hair mussing it up, tugging at the curls and simon moans. they seem to realise where they are then and simon jumps down from the counter baz’ hand in his smiling so widely. they go out into the hall and make their way to simons bedroom, thankfully not intercepted and simon locks the door. he looks at baz like he wants to ravish him, love in his eyes and baz’ hands are shaking. he pushes simon against the locked door kissing him intensely, turning into tongues and open mouths, begins to bite a hickey into the underside of simons jaw and simon is lax limbed even pushed up against the wood panel frame. he places his hands on baz’ hips pulling him closer as if that’s possible, straining in his jeans and baz wants to rip his clothes off so he stops, takes a step back. 

“this is going too fast” he says and simon nods, breathing heavily. you can see his erect nipples through the fucking cherry print t-shirt. baz wants to die.

“who knew being open about our emotions would make us so horny” simon says and baz laughs at that statement, almost doubling over at how insanely funny this situation is before looking up and seeing simon just staring smiling back at him in awe. there’s a pause where they just look at each other and then simon says “do you wanna drink more wine and play animal crossing on my wii?” and baz smiles, nods his head up and down happily. 

this is the start of something beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 we are back ladies!


End file.
